| We know that the title “The Gift of Receiving” sounds like an oxymoron. All of us have met people who are givers and people who are takers. There are those people who are so self-sufficient that they do not need anything from anyone and are so generous that they are always helping others. There are others who do not just accept from anyone but demand support from others. They seem to have a way of making others feel guilty if the others do not support them. We know a couple whose parents were always giving them support and they continually complained to us about how little their parents did to help them. |
Through much of the world begging is an honorable profession. Most religions require everyone to give charity. The beggar, in these cultures, feels that they are there to give each person they meet the opportunity to fulfill their requirement to give charity. The beggar and the charitable are dependent on each other.
One of the basic needs all of us have is to feel needed. Often the giver sends so much energy out that they do not really feel needed. They feel used or obligated. By giving the gift of receiving they start to feel needed. They also start to understand both sides of the equation.
Most people have a deep need to both help others and to feel the support of others. It took us many years to learn this lesson. When our children were in high school a friend told us that some of our friends resented us because we did not allow them the opportunity to reciprocate.
Often people give without allowing others to reciprocate as a defense mechanism. Some of these people need to be, or at least feel, they are in control. Others are afraid that if they accept gifts they will let the giver in. These are people with low self esteem or who do not know how to protect themselves spiritually or emotionally.
When you realize that everyone needs to be important. Everyone has the need to give. When you remember how good it feels to give, then you should want others to experience those good feeling and the feeling of fulfillment.
Most of us have experienced love. It has come in a family setting, community setting or, if you are luck like us, in a marriage. This type of love involves at least two people. You cannot give love and feel fulfilled, unless you are willing to receive love in return.
Unless you are very vain, and in love with yourself, love requires at least two people. The greatest gift you can give a lover is to receive their love. The greatest gift you can receive from a lover is for them to accept your love.
Love is the most obvious reciprocal arrangement. As a leader, a friend or even as a stranger, the best gift you can give is often to simply accept the gifts others give you with poise and graciousness. When you let them know that their gift had great meaning to you then they will be fulfilled and you will both gain more respect in the other’s eyes.