friend of ours, who is a psychic, says that there are lots of
psychics who only talk to their clients about gloom and doom. This is a
they use because they cannot really see into the future. If the worst
claim that they saw it. If the worst does not happen they say,
aren’t you glad
that I warned you so you could avoid the situation. Our friend says
real psychic sees both the good and the bad.
Psychics are not the only ones that use this dodge. Many teachers, religious leaders and parents use the same scam. They tell a student, congregant or child all of the bad things that will happen to them or point out all of their shortcomings, even if they do not exist. If the worst happens they simply say, I told you that would happen. If the person has success they take credit for motivating the person to change.
In psychology this is call the self-fulfilling prophecy. When you tell a child that they are not capable of something the child accepts failure as the expected outcome. It becomes easier to fail than to succeed because failure is expected and success would be a miracle.
Often, even good prophecies, are really the dreams of the prophet and are a nightmare for the person that the prophecy is aimed at. There is the story of the mother who prophesized that her only son would become a doctor. Everything he got from her was to move him towards that goal. When he graduated from medical school he walked up to his mother and handed her the diploma. He told her that it was hers, he did not need it because he would never practice medicine, he hated it.
We had a friend who told her daughter that she could be or do anything she wanted. The daughter loved debating. She loved nature. Our friend thought, but never voiced, that her daughter would always have problems with this conflict. To her surprise, when her daughter graduated from law school she took a job with Defender of Wildlife. She found a way to debate and save nature.
One of the teachers that our children had liked to hold children back, have them repeat the school year. She would do this if a child was smaller them the other children or had to work a little harder to make the grade. If a parent resisted she would say, go ahead and just see the problems you child will have in five years.
Of course she had never tracked what happened to the children that she held back. As a rule, they became the class bully. They accepted and expected failure. Five years later several of the children whose parents refused to accept the prophecy where on the honor role.
These are not really prophecies. The people who make these statements, like this teacher, never follow the progress. They are just threats. They are a form of intimidation. These people are not prophets, they are bullies.
At the same school, there was a music teacher. He always saw the best in each student. He would take students that had never played an instrument before and had them giving concerts. At these concerts other educators thought that the students had been playing for years and were at least six years older than they were.
Chris has taught in the inner city. She expected her students to perform at grade level or above. By the end of the school year, they did.
People will live up to, or down to, their expectations. The higher the expectations the better they will do. The more limited the expectations the more they will rebel.
Encouragement does little when it is false. When the parent tells the child that they can hit a home run and then turns to the other parents and says that he does not have a chance, the child will probably strike out. Saying the words is not magical. Believing is. In metaphysics it is called manifesting.
Look for the best in people and you find it. Believe that you have a great life and you will. View everyone situation as a learning experience and you will become wise. Encourage and expect the most from everyone and yourself and the universe will become better. Find only fail and you will make no progress. Not only is anything possible but everything is possible.
It is easier to predict doom than to work for progress. It is easier to sit and accept war than to work for peace. It is easier to expect others to fail than to help everyone succeed.
As this is being written we hear of the passing of Senator Ted Kennedy. The eulogies come from all quarters. One friend of his summed him up by saying that Ted Kennedy was never petty. He always made the most of everyone. He never tried to make others small so he could be bigger. Everyone, his supporters and his opponents, were enriched and made better by his presence.